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How to be truly heard, Origineurs podcast episode, hosted by Loretta Milan

How to be truly heard

Listen to the Origineurs podcast with award-winning communication expert Loretta Milan
Listen to the Origineurs podcast with award-winning communication expert Loretta Milan on Spotify

This episode's highlights...

  • (01:26) Why your voice matters
  • (02:40) The element that will focus people on your message
  • (04:31) Why it’s not enough to ‘just be more confident’ and what you need instead
  • (05:30) How to be heard over the noise
  • (06.57) The most important thing to do if you want people to listen 

Do you ever feel invisible?

The feeling of being invisible can often come from not only feeling unseen but unheard.

Have you had people talk over you, ignore you, or minimise what you say?

Or have their eyes glazed over, or glanced over your shoulder, or down to their phones while you’ve been talking?

Or have you simply got the impression that what you’re saying is just not sinking in, like they just don’t care?

It’s time to change that.

We’re going to be sharing some great tips for getting people to care about what you say so you can be truly heard.

Your voice matters.

No one can say exactly what you say, quite the way you can.

No one has exactly the same stories you have and can tell them quite the way you do.

No one has experienced exactly the same journey, done the things you’ve done, learned all the things you have, built up your precise skillset, and accumulated your exact wisdom over the years.

Because you are an original, you deserve to be heard.

But getting everyone to care and listen – especially when they aren’t as equally passionate about the same topics as you – can sometimes be challenging. This can be really frustrating and, at times, demoralising.

So, what can you do to be heard? There are three important things.

Three ways to be heard.

1. Know what you seek.

The place to begin is by knowing your ideal outcome when you’re speaking.

Who are the best people for you to speak with?

Being totally realistic, not everyone will care about everything, and it can be easy to waste your time and energy shouting into a concrete wall. So, who really matters when it comes to your message, and who is worth your precious time?

Once you know this, what do you want them to know, feel and do when they hear you?

Often much energy goes into what people need to ‘know’ and little into what people need to ‘feel’. However, if you spend time working on this, it’s the element that will both focus you and engage others most.

For example, are you looking for them to trust you, believe you, to be moved by what you say, to feel motivated to change, to be surprised, or shocked?

And, of course, what you want people to ‘do’ matters greatly too. Often, that’s what you need to build toward because life is ultimately about action. Do you need them to simply listen, or consider something new, or make a change, or adopt a new idea, or go away and do something specific?

Remember, not every conversation needs an action that involves the other person giving to you. This could be your turn.

Relationships need to be two way otherwise they become transactions and that’s a sure way to get people switching off their ears.

But, if you walk into every conversation with clarity, you’ll give yourself the strongest start and the best chance of being heard.

2. Step into belief.

When it comes to being heard, many people will say ‘you just need to be more confident’.

In dishing out this advice, however, they are often implying you need to be bolder and speak louder. And, whereas those things can get you more attention, you actually need another ingredient to be truly heard.

That ingredient is belief.

The most important question you need to ask yourself if you want people to hear you is, ‘do you believe what you’re about to say?’

If the answer is no, that’s the thing you need to work on instead. You either need to fix the problems you know are there rather than trying to glaze over them. Or, you need to pursue something else you truly believe in.

Because, when you believe in something, when you truly believe, it shows. And, true confidence is born out of belief.

3. Build bridges.

When communicating, most people focus on what they want to say and how they want others to respond to them and are disappointed if that doesn’t play out.

But, one of the top reasons things go wrong is that they haven’t put enough thought into the other person and their motives. When you do this, you can look for common ground. Use this as the starting point for your conversation and work out from there.

So, think about your audience for a moment…

  • What really matters to them?
  • What might be on their mind right now?
  • What opportunities are they seeking?
  • Do they have any fears? 
  • And, what do you have in common?

Once you know this, you can work with the areas where you feel similar, where you can talk about your shared experiences with empathy, and maybe support each other.

You can also look for ways to adapt your message in ways that appeal to their interests and motivations, so they are more likely to listen and pay attention, even if your personal experiences differ.

The most important thing.

Remember, if you want to be heard, the most important thing you can do is listen. The better you listen, the better others will listen to you.

And, the more you listen, the more you’ll spot opportunities to connect the things your audience cares about with the things you do. You’ll find new ways to communicate your ideas so the meaning resonates and they’re compelled to hear what you have to say.

Feeling heard is ultimately about feeling that connection.

Key takeaways.

  1. Your voice matters. No one can say exactly what you say, quite the way you can. No one has the same stories, journey, experiences, skills and wisdom. Because you are an original, you deserve to be heard.
  2. There are three important things you can do to be heard. Firstly, begin by knowing your ideal outcome when you are speaking and who really matters when it comes to your message. Next, make sure you truly believe what you are saying because true confidence comes from this. Finally, build bridges with your audience and connect with them in a way that’s matters to them so they’ll feel compelled to listen.
  3. If you want to be heard, it’s so important to listen yourself. Not only will others listen to you better in return, but you’ll spot new opportunities to connect with them in a way that resonates. So, they can’t help but pay attention to what you have to say.

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